Please don’t do it! Don’t go to that bridge. Don’t knot that rope. Throw away that poison. Don’t kill yourself because it isn’t working. Please do not embrace death as an escape route from the thunder roaring fear into you in these dark times. I know death may feel like a greater option because nothing seems to be working but I assure you living is a deserved priority.
I can imagine the weigh of your world disappearing you into irrelevance. Mentally, I understand how it feels to feel like an underachiever. Emotionally, I have felt the pain that envelopes the heart when our best efforts aren’t good enough. Continually, I have experienced the desperation that smashes the mind with frustration and renders its pieces depressed. Like you, I have chosen to walk paths so lonely because I don’t fit in the cycle of others who are doing better. The greatest of all hurt is when defeats slaves your soul, you become very scared of expressing how you feel because you think no one understands. Slowly, you are zoned out of this world; smiling to conceal your brokenness.
I have had these fears too, even traded these condemning thoughts for hope lately. But today, I am writing to tell you that we must not accept defeat. Together we must win this battle. Perhaps, death may be a way out, I plead that it should be your blessing and not a curse. If we will all die eventually, why the hurry? If things aren’t working in the direction we are walking, maybe we need a fresh start.
Naive people easily conclude that suicide is a coward move. Only if they know it is an accumulation of strength gathered from distress, for the need to end suffering. Only if they have a clue how many wars your mind wages daily. Only if they would truly reach out and send some love our way. Give yourself more credit than you presently do. If you are reading this, you can choose to use that strength to reshape your life instead of ending it. I can’t promise you that everything will be perfect but I assure you that certain things can be better if you choose to keep fighting. This chapter will end, and a new beginning will fetch you from this pond of bitterness.
They say it isn’t the end until everything is alright. Maybe that is true. At least, if you die fighting, you will be dying as a warrior. If there is indeed a life after, you will look back and be motivated because you’ll have conquered your greatest fear – that of the unknown. Stop comparing yourself with others. Take that deserved rest. Express that horror that consumes you to someone, keep doing that till someone genuinely listens. There are millions of people in this world and I strongly believe there is one destined to help you.
If you take your own life, nobody will remember the slightest of your good deeds. Everyone will remember how you died, feeling regret on your behalf. You don’t deserve to live on in their memories that way. You are special. You just need to gather your strength and follow the path that leads to light, even if it isn’t your most preferred route. The way forward isn’t suicide. The way forward is forward. Please live, and if you need a new friend, I am willing to storm through life with you.