Letter to Self

Letter to Self

Olufemi,

I see the self-condemnation you have been going through. I understand why you have been too hard on yourself. You probably think all that has happened in recent weeks diminishes your worth. I just want to remind you that dwelling on the hurt and frustration will further get you crutched under the burden of guilt. Did you really think that you are perfect and beyond mistakes? I thought you understood the reality of imperfection; I am just disappointed you let its consequences tear you apart and crumble your emotions. Daily, you wallow in the shame of the mistake you made instead of picking the lesson and forging ahead. This is even worse than self-pity, your belief in doing what is right is slowly fading away and you do not realize it. You are attacking your own sanity, yet outraged that others can’t see past your error. Tell me, if you cannot accept your own apology and forgive yourself, how will the forgiveness of others give you closure? What is done, is done; it is time for you to move on to the brighter side.

One mistake should not define you. It should not deter you as you set out on your new quest to becoming more of a man. This mistake doesn’t change the reality of who you are; our imperfection doesn’t negate the goodness of our heart. Good men make messes too. If you must accept defeat, be sure that this mistake outweighs the other right choices you have made, if it does not, then you have a chance at redemption; an opportunity to become a better man and make better choices. It isn’t called experience because we have seen it happen with others, it is called experience because it happened to us and enlightened us with new discoveries. For every thousand of mistakes, there are a million things to fight for. I want you to consider what you have going for you and focus this chaotic emotions on making it better.

Re-evaluate yourself and understand that falling is inevitable but rising is a choice; don’t stay down. Make peace with everyone you may have hurt but most importantly, make peace with yourself too. We feel differently, so stop expecting another to feel for you how you think they should feel about you. We heal differently, focus on your recovery and hope they heal quickly too. Be more concerned about the future, shape it today. If your past cannot be a push, then it is irrelevant. If you must reflect on the past, refresh the memories, if there is one good thing to hold on to, let it give you closure.

They are not bad because they want you gone, be glad because they don’t want to stay to torture you. If that isn’t love, then what you call it is a lie birthed by your personal sentiment.

Being wrong doesn’t make one bad. Whatever you have lost, you will recover. All that you want, you will get. Be careful not to let this drive your heart to hate. Hold on to what is left and start rebuilding. Love and life, some experiences are blessings, others are lessons. Leave no room for regret. Stay in the complete process, and without jumping the gun, be ready for whatever comes next. Find genuine happiness, fulfil purpose and make sure you don’t die on me; take care of your health. Forget about everyone for once; everything will fall in place, everyone will find their place. Forgive yourself and allow the healing travel through your soul.

If I don’t love you, who will? You are a special one and you matter to me.

Olufemi

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