This letter isn’t an attempt to sway you back into my company. It is simply the only way I can express myself and hope you understand. I spent the whole of a quiet night thinking about us and figured I was slowly letting you out of my grasp. Perhaps, if I had thought more about us, we wouldn’t be here now. It feels like we are worlds apart and I would like to take most of the blame for that. I would have taken all of it, but that would be me making it all about me; never again.
You are a good woman, one to be cherished. Only deserving men should have one of your types. At this moment, I don’t think I fall in that category. I have been selfish and slowly lost sight of why we chose to be together in the first place. I have said how much I love you instead of acting or truly showing it. I have gotten carried away by the horror in my existence and been blinded to the reality of what you could be storming through. I have unconsciously made our friendship more about my burden instead of our lives. I have made you watch out for me more than I have taken charge of your happiness. I have been wrong in a thousand ways just because I am desperate to be good enough for everyone, and forgotten you have been truly there for me. Of course, I crave your love, in fact, I love it, but my acts still show that I don’t value it enough. My guilts are endless and I just want to truly say I am sorry for everything. I hope you forgive all these shortcomings and embrace why you chose me in the first place. Imperfect me.
I am not happy with how we are. Nonetheless, I know whatever feedback I get from you is as a result of the energy I put out to you. I will do better. I don’t appreciate you enough but I see how much you want the best for me. I know how much you believe in me. Regardless of how our journey together may end, you continually affirm the fact that you want me to be great. I can’t ask anything else of you. You are one of a few good women. Thank you.
Words fail me. I sense it in my spirit that you are storming through personal phases and pondering on choices that will define your future. I just want you to know that your sanity and happiness matters most. Whatever it is that roars in your thoughts, I want you to know you come first, before the world and its challenges. You are one of the strongest ladies I have known, conquering where others fail to tread. I encourage you to ride on that strength and remain undefeated. I don’t know many things but I am convinced in my guts that you will be happy in the end. All that bothers you now won’t matter eventually. You will be fine, but please take care of your mind.
There a lot of things I want to say but I am not sure the time is right. Today, I just want you to know that I love you so much. It took me long to realise how true I feel about you. At this moment I am sure of how much I do. I am sorry for all the emotional stress I may have caused you. I am grateful for your love and friendship. I don’t want to lose you, yet I am willing to follow wherever you point. All I want is for you to be happy. I can’t give you the world but I know you deserve that.
Take all the time you need. I love you in spite.