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That heartbreak isn’t meant to end your life; it is supposed to end a phase whose likelihood of ending your life is high. After a lot of random researches and analyses I can confirm that a breakup is a save spot, a temporary uncomfortable zone that restricts you from a hurt that will drive your heart to hate. I understand that some breakups are joy depriving but you need to realize that it is never a status. Maybe if we consider the words ‘break’ and ‘up’ it will make much sense. You have to break away or be broken away from so as to move up on. It is a sacrificial process for progress; a harsh reality. You should endure for a short while but not dwell on the severity so as not to lose your sense of purpose. You are made to love. Only you own the key to your heart, no one can take charge of your heart if you don’t allow them. In like manner, value your heart such that you don’t spend time weeping over what is gone instead of helping it heal.

I have been single since 2011. It recently became easy for me to state how much I enjoy loving myself but that wasn’t the case when I experienced my breakup. The next 4 years after that were fusion of confusion, rejection and misdirection. I spent more time thinking of the unforgiveable than charting a new course. I carried the burden of what ruined my relationship everywhere I went until reality gave me a slap on the chest. She had moved on, that was why we broke up in the first place, she was seeing someone else. She was happy; in fact they are still together. I was being stupid. I called the breakup, I knew I wouldn’t take her back, yet I didn’t let go. I chose to be unhappy for no reason. The thought of someone who was exploring new grounds left me with so much insecurity. Don’t be like me. Don’t enslave your heart.

When a breakup occurs is the time to take a ‘short’ break. Go somewhere new, do something new, renew your heart and start again. Create something beautiful from the pain. Don’t spend time mopping over what’s gone and lose sight of what’s good. Your heart can create a better magic than the previous one, give it room. Don’t restrict yourself to a hurtful and lonely approach to healing. Recovery should excite the sick. Who loves drugs? Abuse of alcohol or any other addiction doesn’t help.

It saddens my heart whenever I learn of people that go suicidal because of heartbreak. It is worthless to lose your life because someone got tired of you. No heartbreak should make you vulnerable or turn you into a sadist. That heartbreak should make you beautiful again, being rest assured that the next stop is an improved step away from your past. Your past is a lesson so your future can be a blessing.


P:S – Please talk to someone if you are having a tough time recovering from that heartbreak. You are welcome to book a free session with me. You will be beautiful again.


  1. Brilliant write-up, stuff like this should be taught in schools to our kids and youths. #StuffsThatMatter

  2. Hmmmmmm…. The hurt of being heartbroken. When you lose the one you have left everything else to keep. I have been there… I’m recently just moving up. Thanks Femi, this post is everything.

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