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Green Hostel 6

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

SADIST: When evil things happen the day travel slow and the night slower. Despite the fact that no one in the hostel knew that I called for the war I wasn’t at ease. If you have ever been in the system then you will understand that you can trust absolutely nobody. It gets so bad that sometimes you become weary of your shadow and even begin to lose faith in your partner. I was emotionally obsessed about Tola but I also knew if things got messy she’d save her life first, who wouldn’t? Loko was nowhere to be found yet he managed to put a strike back bounty on my head. It was a tough choice but I had to go to school every day in order not to arouse suspicions. I began to spend more time in Tola’s room but contrary to what was just a lust after her body I desired to know her better. We talked more. I sold my soul to her by telling her everything about me, even the one she didn’t deserve to know.

****

Kunle got back from his trip to learn of what had happen, trust Okoro and Prof to give him details in exaggerated manner.

“The fundamentals of the chaos that held the campus to a state of emergency are so grave it will become a burden to history. It was a massacre of flying bullets and shameless soldiers. It was a contraction of heart and confusion of opposition. It was an experience for the courageous, definitely not for premature ejaculating cowards like you.”

Kunle realizing Prof was throwing shades at him countered in self-defense,

“If I am a coward, what are you? Don’t even let me recount few of your notable chicken experiences. It will interest you to know one bad sex experience doesn’t rank me lower than my triumphs. I almost lost my life to sex but you remain impotent.” He took a break then continued as soon as he realized that Prof was going to say something. This time he raised his voice,

“Has anyone in this green hostel witnessed the presence or arrival of a female in Prof’s room?”

She-goat sef nor dey enter, shey you wan dey whine prof now ni?” Okoro asked in a sarcastic tone. From the look of things Prof was becoming uncomfortable.

“Okoro I am highly disappointed that you are treacherous enough to wear betrayal as your amour and excrete rubbish from your mouth with lips like that of a chicken’s anus. Shame on you!”

Okoro stood transfixed. He bit his tongue in an attempt to talk but he couldn’t muster what to say. Prof took advantage of his momentary vulnerability and continued,

“Disregarding all protocols I’d like to take my leave now from this arena of confusion. Tonight is the night I chant Arsenal to glory and rip off Chelsea’s garment as the pride of London.”

Everyone was about dispersing when Sadist walked in with Tola to become the center of attention. They held each other’s hands laughing and whispering loudly as they made their reputable entrance.  Tola was the first to notice the preying eyes of their hostel mates so she greeted,

“Good evening guys.”

Sadist hailed everyone in the popular language, “How far na? Wetin dey sup?”

Kunle winked at him but Okoro was the first to respond vocally,

Baba na you dey sup. Naso you port from Sadist to Happiness. Ochuko my Chucks! Only you still come migrate from easy guy to easy man. Baddo Ooshaa.”

They all laughed, including Prof who was notoriously on his way out. He stopped at the gate and screamed,

“Sadist this is welcoming you to the league of extra ordinary gentle lovers.”

Kunle hissed then mocked, “Bloody he-goat.”

Tola left the presence of the guys and walked into her room. Okoro rushed into his room and returned with a bottle of cheap whiskey.

“Okoro my main man, what’s the occasion? This one wey you wan finish men this evening so.” Kunle inquired with a bit of sarcasm.

Una don forget?” Okoro asked surprisingly.

“Forget what?” Sadist countered.

“Today is Inn Okun hostel’s final year party. Based on as he be, we gats enter there in grand style. So, make we use this Macky D shine eye small. Abi una no dey fall in? Na DJ Decoda dey on the alloy wheels of steels o, based on logistics.”

“When have I ever passed on a party? Baba, na all hands on deck o, make we go sampu sall those pre degree babes, catch them young.” Kunle indicated his interest then gulped a mouth full of whiskey in solidarity to Okoro’s movement. Sadist on the other hand excused himself from their presence after pouring an unmeasured amount of whiskey into one of the cups Okoro brought.

“I will pass guys. I’d rather spend the rest of the night with my girl than dancing around in that populated and dusty hostel.”

“What a life!” Kunle exclaimed, “She is suddenly your woman.”

Kunle D Fucker, biko free Chucks, when Tola never fall in for am hin dey gree follow boys roll? You nor even happy say he dey famz shallam.” Okoro stated in a bid to explain that Sadist hasn’t changed.

“Goodnight guys,” Sadist walked out of their presence and disappeared into Tola’s room. Both men remained there, drinking and laughing as they taunted each other with abuses in a playful fashion. After emptying the bottle of Macky D they staggered to their different rooms to get ready for the party. As Kunle walked over to his flat he disturbed the hostel,

Eye don dirty, dem go know. Let’s get this party started. Inn Okun Hostel, here comes Kunle Fucker!”

His voice was louder than the skit that played in Inn Okun hostel which was just 50 meters adjacent green hostel.

DJ Dekoda, na me be master, go call your brother, this night go fire,” the skit played on.

****

SADIST: Tola and I were about to get naughty when I heard a loud continuous bang on her door. My penis shrunk as I tossed away the Gold Circle that was about to become my armour. For a second I concluded that Loko was here for payback. Tola ran into the restroom naked while I reached for the 4mm I had hidden in her cupboard. I killed the safety switch with a drag then crawled to the window to peep.  It was a relief to see Okoro. I hid the gun under a pillow, open the door and pulled him inside just as he was about to bang on the door again.

Furious I asked, “Guy wetin be this many many nonsense. Shey if you don high you no suppose the road to your room?.” He reeked of alcohol but he was also crying bitterly.

Guy wetin be happen na? Why you dey cry?”

Okoro was crying, stammering and sniffling simultaneously.

Na Kunle o… Kunle o.”

Wetin do Kunle?” I asked as I tried to calm him down. Tola came into the room wearing a bum short and t-shirt. She helped make him talk,

“Okoro calm down. Take a slow deep breath,” he does. “Now tell us what Kunle is up to.”

Okoro lets out deep breath then answers,

Kunle don die!

“What!” Tola and I were shocked.

Na Margaret stab am for neck. Party don end ooo, Kunle don die.”

“Who the hell is Margaret?” I questioned in anxiety.

The same babe wey fuck am collapse naa. Kunle dey up to heaven or hell oooo.”

I am The Cooking Pen. I Write. I Cook. I Consult. I Love. | femi@femifragile.com.ng | 08094207474 | 2AF48577

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2 comments

  1. Based on logistics…

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