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Green Hostel – 4

Episode 1

Episode 2

Episode 3

The tale of Kunle’s heroic defeat traveled beyond the shores of school gate. He became more popular, everyone talked about what happened, thanks to Prof, Okoro and Sadist. He traveled with Sadist the next day as they had planned. It was quite strange to watch Kunle become humble at the mercy of Sadist’s mockery. In a bit to get him off his back while they danced to the rhythm of the rickety bus they boarded as it made hollow sounds like a foam on a tired spring, he said,

“Chucks, I can’t thank you enough for coming to my rescue last night. I mean, I could have passed on to diminished glory. Hundreds of photocopied obituary could have been pasted all over school with my face.”

“Did you say glory?” Chucks, the Sadist himself interrupted Kunle. “I think I’d save the L and leave the word as gory. There is nothing glorious about dying from sex, at the hand of a Calabar girl! God forbid.”

The bus bumped into a pothole and it sent their heads towards the rusted iron that served as its roof. For a moment they wished it was a convertible. Everyone in the bus complained. A certain man that was marked like Oluyole, the Ibadan legendary warrior laughed in an annoying manner and said with heavy Ibadan accent,

“I didn’t imagine finding a bus this terrible here in Ekiti. I thought Ibadan houses the worst of them. Finally something to smile about; perhaps this is hope or relief.”

Kunle was totally uninterested. He looked utterly disappointed in himself. At intervals he whispered, “twenty minutes.” According to the rumors that went forth from green hostel, Kunle was said to have been on the other side for that long.

SADIST: I can confirm that rumor. This isn’t an attempt to mock him. After a successful attempt at waking everyone up to his foes, getting him to breathe back to life was tasking. I was scared out of my mind. I trembled in the fear that my nonchalant attitude had cost someone his life. I definitely do not hate him that much. We kept pouring water on him, it was futile. I was intimidated when Tola, a girl whom I have a hidden admiration for decided to resuscitate Kunle by giving her mouth-to-mouth. I can’t remember the medical term biko. Again, I wished I was the one whose life was being fought for. Trust the devil to make an impression, a quick reminder that he could die made me find my voice,

“I rebuke it in Jesus name.”

Everyone said amen ignorant of what transpired in my head.

“Chucks, Prof, can you guys please pump his chest while I’m at it?” Tola ordered then placed her mouth on his again. We obliged her.

Highlight of the moment was how the one who did the deed kept her calm amidst the turmoil. Who else? Margaret! She rolled up short marijuana and dragged ‘sewwwwlowly’ at intervals.

Una just they worry una sef, fine boy nor go gree wake up. Shoo, naso he stupid reach? Pesin wey nor gree finish wetin hin start wey dey form die. Nor be say na wen I comot here he go wake up?”

Another long loud drag and Kunle finally coughed out to meet his brewing shame half way. Maggie approached him and asked,

Na man you be abi na obote? You carry small body big engine and you nor fit use am. Your own don roost. If I hear my name for your mouth again, I go use biro tear my name for your belle forget am for your anus. Foolish boy.”

She tossed what was left of the smoke at his face. The brief moment of madness was soon accompanied by applause by everyone around for Tola, for her courage and resilience, as initiated by Prof.

“To this woman who has just proven her worth to be higher than that of seven ultimate diamonds. For her convincing bravery, possessive presence, heroic display against sex abuse, and, and absolutely terrific knowledge of medicine as a Accounting student. Shall we please lay to her eardrum several rounds of applause.”

We clapped. Okoro further made his presence know, “tiri gbosa for Tola.”

“Gbosa! Gbosa!! Gbosa!!!”

Tola smiled sheepishly, “thanks guys. This is what happens when Grey Anatomy is your favourite TV series,” she added.

The crowd in our flat reduced. Maggie came out from Kunle’s room dressed and ready to leave. She lite another stick, cigarette this time, then exited the hostel. Nobody gave a hoot whether or not it was midnight. I couldn’t take my eyes off Tola, more than lusting after her banging sexy body, I could feel my heart beating fast without a definition. Infatuation maybe? Needless to state the fact that her nightie was revealing, her nipples staring at me like a 7D camera with a 135mm lens recording at close short.

“Chucks, can you please help me with getting him into his room.” Tola requested. I was glad to help. Prof and Okoro said their goodbyes few minutes before then. Kunle struggled to express his gratitude and we also made our exits.

“For a moment I wished I was Kunle, you wouldn’t know how much and for how long I have craved for your lips.”

Yes, I told Tola. I’m not sure where the confidence came from but I said it anyway. She looked at me without a precise expression then stepped forward to kiss me. Yes, Tola kissed Sadist! I died and went to paradise for a minute. She stopped kissing me and revealed,

“I have pretended all this while not to be aware of how much your eyes prey beyond my cloths. Don’t think I don’t know you pleasure yourself at the imagination of my nudity. For certain reasons that would do you a lot of good, stop it.”

She turned to leave and I pulled her back, “how can you kiss me goodbye when I’ve only just met you?” I kissed her back. This time like the Youtube kiss tutorial I had downloaded on my laptop. Head slightly bent to the left, my upper lip on her lower lip, my tongue teasing her lips slightly and finally a gentle caress of our lips.

“Oh my God! You’re such a good kisser.” She proclaimed.

I had her. I had her that night, she slept in my arms and I think we made love, if that applies for a first time sex with a strange neighbour.


Sadist stopped teasing Kunle as he was engulfed in the thought of what was coming. He knew he could handle it but it was going to cause a spark of war. As he walked Tola to her room that morning her boyfriend was waiting with two other guys, brothers of the same fraternity. The furious lover boy  yelled at her from a short distance,

“Are you crazy? Where have you been? I have been calling your line since 5.00am. I came here and found out you slept outside your room without your phone. Are you fucking this nigga?”

He was referring to Sadist. The two guys he was with tried to calm him,

Loko! Baba retire the matter.” But that wouldn’t do. He rushed towards Tola and dragged her aggressively. Sadist didn’t just stand there; he slapped his hands off at her defence.

Wetin dey happen for this zone self. Who dey rat? Who no pass smoke wey wan dey fire?” Sadist screamed at their face, beating his chest loudly. The hostel mates had gathered.

I see, korrect. Who you be?” Loko questioned Sadist. His boys pulled him away before both men created a violent scene. Sadist watched them leave and reassured Tola of her safety. He kissed her on the forehead to the surprise of everyone.

“That’s a record breaking gesture” Prof gossiped loudly. Everyone got back to business, some feeling bad for Sadist. No way he was going squat free. You don’t mess with such guys and enjoy peace in school gate.

SADIST: I forgot to add that I am a member of the Sea Lions fraternity. No one in the hostel knows but I guess lies and secret always encounter bitter truths and get unveiled. As for Loko and his friends, they belong to the Living Skull fraternity. You’re pressed to know what happened next, you’ll find out when I return from my trip to Akure. All you need to know is this; it was bullet for bullet and man for man. And yes, to all of my hostel mates except Tola I still remained Sadist.

To be continued…

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  1. Good to be bold… never shy away from expressing your feelings towards the opposite sex… lots of gains in it i guess

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